Friday, September 30, 2005

The Vol Abroad is forced to complain

Well, there I was at the gym rather late for a Friday night and the clientele was rather sparse. I suppose one of the trainers decided that because there were few people around he could be a little more experimental with the musical accompaniment to our sweat and toil.

One of the things I kinda like about the gym is that it exposes me to music which is not on the routine playlist of the Vol household. It's broadening.

But today it was just plain too much. Instead of the usual cheesy crap promoting the quick succession of sexual partners it was a bit more hard core. I had an uneasy feeling, but the first line that really caught my attention was "I'm gonna pop those Ns just like balloons" and it just got worse from there. The chanteur then went on to explain how he made no distinction by gender, he'd pop "hos," too.

I'm in the middle of my 20 minutes of cross-trainer, and I don't really want to break my stride. I hope that this is merely an aberration. But no, the next song is really more of a how-to, how to keep your bitch in line. (It involves slapping aparently). Right, I've had enough. I'm really not much of a complainer, but c'mon.

So I walk over to the young man in question and say "Are you in control of the music?". He says he is. So I say "Listen 'Lo,"

(For uninformed readers 'Lo is new street slang for gigolo, a young man of questionable virtue)

I say "Listen 'Lo, I don't care for the kind of music which glorifies internecine violence among people of color. Nor do I approve of lyrics which reinforce a misogynist patriarchy and encourage physical assaults on women"

This crazy 'lo gets a little smart with me, so then I grab him by the throat push him against the wall and emphasise my point with a well placed knee lift. He comes back into line then, but my blood is up. (Really, I plead provocation) I give him a fat lip and make him cry. I don't think we'll be hearing that particular track again.

OK, that last bit didn't happen. He did change the music, but he was a little smart with me. I may just have to resort to a strongly worded letter.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Way to pop that lo, Vol.

Anonymous said...

Whatever...