t-0 (-4): Lime punch

People who tell me to enjoy my sleep now are killing me. I'm already not sleeping well. This seems cosmically unfair. The constant need to pee wakes me up. Sometimes the swelling in my feet actually wakes me up. The anxiety of waiting keeps me up. I'm not very good at this.

Last night I couldn't sleep from about 3:30 to 6:30. I tried to play computer games, but eventually gave up and watched a Perry Mason tv movie - you know from the later years when he's all fat and you're all wondering "How come Perry and Della never got married." Usually, these put me straight to sleep. But not this time. I know I'd seen it before because it had Joe Penny in it. I've always had a fondness for Joe Penny. And I knew I'd seen him in a Perry Mason, but I couldn't remember what the outcome was. Since he was the defendant, you know that he was the one person (other than Della and Perry) who was guaranteed to be innocent. He was, of course, and it was the step-daughter of the victim who-dunnit. Since I'd come in a bit late this was a total surprise to me. I'd never even seen her before.

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I was trying to catch up on my sleep this afternoon. Unfortunately, there was much hammering going on in my street and I couldn't quite get past it to doze off. And then I started to think about Lime Sherbet Punch. We used to have this at school parties in the 70s. It was made with luminous green sherbet and Sprite. The best sherbet base was from Kay's Ice Cream. Is Kay's still around?

I got a bit fixated on it - perhaps even developed a craving. But I could make an attempt to satisfy this one. I had diet lemonade - R. White's by Royal Appointment (British lemonade is kinda like Sprite) in the fridge and lemon-lime Italian sorbet in the freezer. This is the noughties and I'm an urbanite now - now we have sorbet.

I tell you, it was pretty good, but it was a pale yellow not uranium green and that just wasn't the same.

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I'll tell you what else I'm craving. A Marlboro Red. Man, I'd just about kill for one of those. And if Cletus doesn't show up soon, I'd definitely trade my firstborn for a pack of 20.

4 days of baby Cletus lateness