The real contest

Well tonight it's the Eurovision song contest - the finals - the moment you've all been waiting for. No need to highlight all the different acts, since I've done that and more in the semi-final coverage. (Here and here) So what follows is just a series of random thoughts,

I will say that the UK entry (which got an automatic pass being one of the big funders of the contest) was not completely embarassing as they have been in some years. And the German entry (another bye) was OK, some women in tight dresses singing in a mediocre fashion.

Best part thing of the night so far is turning on the lyrics. Where they're in the native tongue of the entrant it's quite the revelation and often it's quite a revelation to discover that they are in fact singing in English (like the Georgian and Azerbaijani entries).

We liked the Finnish entry, but the Vol-in-Law loves it even more now that he know the lyrics translated mean something like "All the men must ride forth, sheep can not graze there." (See the video here).

Perhaps the most controvesial entry in English is the French one. I thought it was a law that they had to do everything in French and apparently this is le uproar over this across Le Channel. It's not a great entry anyway.

We've definitely decided that the Swedish entry Charlotte Pirelli is not a woman. Thank goodness for second looks.

The Spanish have done a joke entry - and it's a very bad joke indeed. They're being booed off the stage. They're still booing as last year's winner takes the stage. It makes Estonia's joke entry with dancing and singing washed up Estonian MPs look professional. That's how bad the Spanish entry was. Nil points.

The Serbian entry - the final bye of the evening - was OK. Lyrics like "wake me up on St Vitus day" - which is apt because apparently his saintly powers include protection against oversleeping.

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Vol Mom - visiting from America actually voted (on our phone line) for Norway. It only cost 15 pence (about 30 cents), which isn't too bad.

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As the votes are counted, I'm guessing

Ukraine or Russia to take all

Serbia, Turkey and Georgia do well.

The more pop-star type entries Armenia and Greece do ok.

At the bottom of the heap, France and Spain. The UK won't suffer a nil-pointage, but it will languish in the bottom third.

This I predict.

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Now for the most exciting moment...the voting...all 43

The UK This is London calling...
Crap...someone in the UK voted for Spain. Top marks go to Greece.

FYR Macedonia....votes for its neighbours

Ukraine...votes for its neighbours....12 points to Russia, gotta keep those gas pipelines open.

Estonia votes mostly for its neighbours - 10 points to Finland (they're ethnically kin) and 12 points to Russia.

Bosnia & Herzegovnia voted for all their former Balkan foes. The Balkans tend to stick together despite not being able to do so politically. There are a lot of Balkan countries and a lot of Balkan votes.

Albania gave top points to Greece, somewhat surprisingly.

Belgium give top points to Armenia - one of my favorite entries - but what's the relationship between those two countries.

Latvia - douze points to Russia.

Bulgaria gives 12 points to Germany - who had zero before. Why?

Moldova give 12 points to Romania. Quelle surprise.

France are giving all their points in French - not like their song. No votes for the UK from across the channel.

Portugal gives the dreadful Spanish entry 10 points.

Norway doesn't appear to have given Sweden any/many points. That is a bit of a shocker.

Spain gives 12 points to Romania - purely on the strength of migrant workers, I reckon.

Malta gives 12 points to Sweden and nary a point to the UK - I thought surely there would be a vote or two there.

Ireland - woo hoooooo 8 points to the UK and 12 point to the Latvian entry (the Pirates).

At this point, it's looking like no one can beat Russia with 36 out of 43 countries already reported.

Sweden gives Norway 12 points - and the announcer looks drunk. Brilliant.

Will Denmark give the UK any points - the last country to vote? 8 to Sweden, 10 to Norway and 12 points to Iceland...well, that's it.

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Russia wins.

Maybe the UK should cut off some natural gas supplies to someone that might keep them off the bottom of the scorecard. The UK entry wasn't brilliant, but it sure beat a whole bunch of other dismal entries.