smock this, buddy

VolMom has apprently had some good luck in the 2nd hand shops, but she's been buying new, too.

I have been to two sales and picked up some more clothes.. I got abeautiful blue smocked one piece suit (it has little Scottish terriers on the smocking)

Oh, smocking....great! I thought it was a lost art, but apparently somebody went and dug it up again. The Vol-in-Law had to ask me what smocking was. And I discovered that it's really hard to articulately explain smocking - but I described it as folding and pleating fabric. "Hmm," he said. "That doesn't sound very masculine. And wouldn't all those folds just be a trap for baby vomit?"

Nashville blogging mommy extrordinaire Lindsay of Suburban Turmoil is also expecting a boy and has already decided she's in the pro-overall, anti-smocking camp of baby boy fashion. She has a lot of good reasons why smocking shouldn't be allowed on boys.

But me - I'm in the cheapo fashion camp. If VolMom wants to buy smocking for her grandson - I say go ahead. Worse comes to worse we can dress him up in the smocking - snap a quick pic and let him wear it until it becomes a baby vomit trap.

VolMom is continuing to shop and wanted to know if we wanted more smocked items. I said only if they were deeply discounted. The Vol-in-Law was very doubtful about the smocking and said his fantasy baby outfit included camouflage. He wanted to dress his boy as a wee little hunstman* in camo with a "UT orange vest"** with tiny little pockets for baby-sized shotgun shells. I know very well that Lawrence County affords a a variety of opportunities to dress your child in clothes that will help him blend in with a pile of leaves - so I passed on the request to VolMom. The next day:

I must have lost my mind, but today I had to go to Loretto and I stopped by and got a RealTree camo outfit for poor little Cletus. I hope you and the ViL appreciate it, because I shelled out $28 for a t-shirt and matching overalls. I bought size 6 months because I couldn't imagine a child any smaller in such clothes. I hope the ViL is not disappointed that it is hunter camo. I am appalled enough to be buying bambi-killing clothes, but I hope I never stoop to getting military camo. I don't want my grandson to be a trained killer on my dollar.

I replied:

Thanks! He said that was exactly what he wanted. He said not to worry about the trained killer thing - because he's going to raise little Cletus to be a chicken hawk just like Dick Cheney. Septugenarian lawyers had best watch out, though.

The ViL pointed out that he himself would be a septugenarian lawyer in 36 years time. Don't think I hadn't thought of that already.

____

* I should explain that the Vol-in-Law, having been raised vegetarian is squeamish about all things dead meat - i.e. it's me who has to dispose of what the cat dragged in. He has never been hunting. And being a Brit, I don't think he'd fired or even held a gun until well after we had married.

**As I've always explained to others, UT orange is not the same as blaze orange - the hunter safety color. These are completely different shades. This error makes me feel I have not properly educated him in the subtleties of the SEC color wheel.

Update: My in-laws are visiting and I told them about the camo purchase. They laughed, but deep down, I'm pretty sure they disapproved. (They're kinda big on disapproval). I told them about the ViL not knowing what smocking was and questioning the manliness of smocking. "Well, he was in smocking when he was a baby," my mother-in-law said. "Yes, I'm sure he was," I said.