Doing a Zidane

A reader asked - what would push me over the edge - what would make me engage in a mad burst of physical violence like Zidane's headbutt of Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final.

Well, I can't say for sure - but, here are some times I've seen red in the past, in reverse order:


6. Recently, when I was told that I couldn't keep a magazine box out on a desk at work (result of new hotdesking rules) and then discovered that someone had stuffed a random, unclaimed laptop case in the little storage space that I have. I actually said "One more word about the magazine file, and I'm gonna go Zidane on somebody."
5. The time our landlord accused of us breaking a window lock - after the Vol-in-Law had suffered two separate hour and a half inspections of window locks and keys without problems only two and four days before.
4. When the University of Tennessee bursar's office told me over the phone I had to pay a full extra semester's worth of tuition in order to graduate, despite the fact I had all the credits and requirements I needed, and had already paid the extortionate "graduation fee". (Through clenched teeth I said "Do I need to come down there in person to sort this out?" and they caved.)
3. When the second bombing attempt took place in London last summer.
2. The fourth day of the Katrina debacle when people were dying on the side of I-10 in the sweltering heat - when it would have been possible to walk to shade and water.

...and the maddest I've ever been:

1. When Taco Bell served me two straight cups of sweet ice tea in a row, swearing it was unsweetened before admitting that they'd mixed the vats.

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The Vol-in-Law said he might go Zidane on somebody if he discovered them defacing one of his neighbourhood watch signs.