Now we're cookin'

I've been without a properly functioning oven for over two years now. It works, sometimes, kinda, but it's really slow. See it was a "fan oven", very popular here in Europe which works by swirling the heat around within the cooking cavity. Since this convection cooking is so efficient, I think manufacturers cheated a bit with the actual heating element, toning it down. So the fan in our oven doesn't work anymore - and it heats things, but slowly, very slowly. Thin and crispy ready made pizzas take about forty-five minutes, a roast would take about four hours - and a couple of baked potatos - well, there's just not enough time in the world for those.

The fan quit working just about the time that my husband was laid off from his job - so we didn't replace it. And then he got another job, but we didn't replace it. The Vol-in-Law was determined that he wanted a gas oven - but that would mean extending the gas line - and finding decent tradesmen in London is like searching for hen's teeth. I myself wasn't in favor of the gas oven, but I knew that even finding someone to install the oven (for, yes, it is a built in oven) would be a Herculean if not Sysaphean task.

But then...something changed. I saw an ad just after Christmas for a "super fast oven". Fast is good I thought. And I started hunting around for the thing. Well, I found it. It costs a packet. But it cooks food "up to four times faster" - using "Genus technology".

What is Genus technology? Well, the oven manufacturer doesn't want us to know. I'm thinking maybe it's a combination of traditional and infrared cooking, but who's to know for sure? It could well be death ray technology - which would be kinda cool. So after much debate between the Vol-in-Law and me, I think we're gonna get it (the store has promised to provide us with a list of installers).

And then we'll have to gather some friends round to enjoy the fruits of the appliance of science.

• "Wow, this casserole is so delicious, what's your secret?"
• "How do you get the cookies so crisp on the outside and so moist and chewy on the inside?"
• "The meat is so tender, it just falls off the bone, how do you do it?"

The secret* my friend, is I can't tell you, and if I told you, I'd have to kill you.











death ray technology
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*No, really the secret is to lovingly prepare the food using only the finest, freshest ingredients and, of course, to cook it with death ray technology.