Protestor without a cause

New Labour, not being the civil libertarians we might wish them to be, have placed some serious restrictions on the right to protest. Particularly in places where you might actually like to protest, the seat of government, Westminster. No protests allowed within 1 Km of the parliament building.

But there's a wee loophole in the law. If you ask permission (pretty please) and fill out a form, and submit it in triplicate a week before your intended demonstration, you can protest on your own. You can be a lone voice in an uncaring world.

Or you can join a mass-lone-protest.

Londoners can get down there tonight to hand in their forms to the police for a mass-lone-protest before the Palace of Westminster next week.

Meet on Thursday 24th August outside Charing Cross police station any time between: 5.30pm-6pm to hand in your SOCPA forms. Go here to get a form.

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Sure, what everyone will really be protesting is the curtailment of the ancient liberty of free speech. But I'm reckoning that since it's a mass lone protest, one needs to be original in one's outrage. Should I protest, here's some things that I'd like Parliament to consider:

• Annoying iPod leakage on the Underground.
• The TV license
• Low-rider jeans and thong panties
• Sunday trading laws which prohibit big stores being open more than 6 hours on Sundays
• Multi-ethnic movable feast bank holidays - I'd like the British government to give me the 4th of July off with pay
• The high cost of ice. There must be some kind of prohibitive tax on it - why else would it be so hard to obtain in the UK?
• The burgeoning urban fox population. Bring back the hunt - but only in cities.
• The lack of chi-chi delis in Tooting. Surely the must be able to do something to help my neighbourhood get fresh olives and prosciutto.
• Driving on the left.