Friday, March 24, 2006

Squirrelly lawmakers

Just who is enemy number 1 according to the British House of Lords?










Yes, much legislative time was devoted yesterday to combatting the squirrel menace. Britain has a native squirrel - the red squirrel. Red's population has takin' a lick after the introduction of the hardier, bigger North American native the grey squirel. Some Lords and Ladies have been suggested a mass cull, a woodland genocide.

I have to admit that the red squirrel is perhaps a little cuter. But is the anti-grey attitude a further sign of rampant anti-Americanism among the British elite?



And are these native Brits really so cute and innocent? Let's look at the facts:

According to the Friends of the Anglesey Red Squirrels the friendly, fluffy grey is Sciurus carolinensis. And we all know how lovely the Carolinas are. Whereas, the red is Sciuris vulgaris - latin for vulgar little creature. Not only that -but those reds are savage little buggers as I reported late last year.

Even the Anglesey friends had to grudgingly admit that:

We very seldom link to International squirrel stories, but this one caught our eye. This is a rather strange tale reported in a BBC News Story Dec 05 where red squirrels are reported to have chewed a dog to death. Mmmh, we'll let you make up your own mind..

But that isn't stopping their murderous plans. They even have a page devoted to bounty schemes. At one point, you could get one pound ($1.75) for every tail of a grey handed in, but the bounty scheme has faded mainly because the main patroness died.

But perhaps they're missing a trick, the Isle of Angelesey is off the north coast of Wales and is a beautiful area. Imagine taking your vacation there and setting the kids loose with traps and BB guns while tired parents lounge in the pubs. Fun for the whole family. If the kids are quick, the holiday could pay for itself.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I meant to blog about this the other day. I heard the lords debating this, and devising ways to get rid of squirrels, including recipes--"Tastes like chicken!"--and I thought to nominate my dog for an OBE or whatever it's called. She caught one the other day, at Chequers. I'm sure it was caught on camera.

Vol Abroad said...

Forget the OBE - get your dog a SEAT in the House of Lords.