don't mention the war!

Oh, it's almost World Cup time (50 days from today!!) and the British authorities are advising English fans how to behave in Germany which hosts the tournament this year. Number one: don't mention the war, bitte.

Not the Iraq War, of course, but good old WWII. The one where we gave the Hun a bit of a bloody nose. The one where, needless to say, the Germans were so wrong

English footballing pride is unmistakably wrapped up with the war. After all, on wars: England 2, Germany 0 and in soccer the record is a bit more mixed. (It's summed up in the stadium chant Two World Wars and One World Cup). Yes, there was the famous 1966 World Cup finals win against West Germany, but since then... (via the BBC)

Since that memorable day at Wembley, it took England until Euro 2000 to beat Germany in a competitive match again.

Indeed in 15 post-1966 meetings, England have triumphed only three times.

England fans have used the theme from the film The Dambusters as a footballing anthem and a march from another WWII flick The Great Escape. But this may well be verboten in Germany, via the Telegraph:

Charles Clarke, the Home Secretary, has already warned fans that they will be arrested and jailed if they perform a Nazi salute, chant Sieg Heil or goosestep in Germany.

He said the German authorities had not decided whether singing songs with war-time links, such as the Dambusters theme and Ten German Bombers, about the RAF shooting down Luftwaffe aircraft, would lead to arrest.

What? Haven't made up their minds yet? And here I thought the Germans were so decisive.

This German site is more emphatic, with an underlying message of:

You Englishers had better behave, vee haff vays of making you behave.

Actually what it says is:

We will offer the warmest welcome to true football fans... I think the British are intelligent enough not to insult a nation, but enjoy this huge football event as friends among friends.

...snip...

But just in case a new cell block has been built at Nuremberg's police HQ [city of England's opening match not to mention Nazi rallies and war crimes trials], with space for nearly 300 prisoners. Even the stadium has its own lock-up block ready for hooligans and drunks.

Well, hmmpph - what's the World Cup without whistling the march from The Great Escape. To these stern admonishings I urge English fans click their heels and say "Ja, mein footballgruppenfuhrer!" (Though you might want to leave out the salute.)