Thursday, January 25, 2007

Dress your children in orange and white

VolMom called last night to tell me that she had picked up a whole bunch of baby boy clothes for Cletus at a consignment shop. So that's right - used clothing for a brand new baby.

"Nothing but the second best for my baby," I told the Vol-in-Law.
"Third or fourth best, really, is fine - so long as it's not dangerous," he replied.

Actually, used is great. And VolMom knows very well that I'll enjoy items more if I know she got a deal on them. I'll buy used clothes for myself, used cars, second-hand jewelry. If it still works, why not? Call it my personal take on environmentalism. To re-use is better than to re-cycle.

****
Baby boy clothes have bears and puppies and trucks and tools on them. Baby girl clothes have kittens and fairies and flowers on them.

"Not that it really matters, but did you find any boy clothes with kittens on them?" I asked VolMom. "I know that kittens are mostly found on little girl clothes, but you know I'm more of a cat than a dog person."
"No kittens," she said rifling through her (many) newly purchased onesies and rompers. "But here's one with a lion on it. And a tiger... And another tiger..." PAUSE "Oh no, that tiger looks a little too much like an Auburn Tiger."

Ahh, the complexities of SEC rivalry and baby fashion.

*****
VolBro has emailed to congratulate me on having a baby with the correct chromosome sequence, but has warned me that Baby Cletus needs "proper attire".

That is - I need to dress my child in orange and white.

******

I promised the Vol-in-Law I wouldn't buy any more baby clothes - especially since, as yet, we have no baby to dress. I haven't gone crazy on the shopping. (But I think VolMom has). I n fact, I haven't bought anything more than what I posted about.

Well, until today. (Maybe he won't read this.)

I had a little look at Marks and Spencers (a sorta department store - found in every UK town center) - and found a pack of newborn body suits - in yes, orange and white.

Well, what would you have done?

*******

My old pal St Caffeine is already worried about what a half-Brit, half-Vol baby will be like.

See, much as I love her, the VA is one of those obnoxious UT fans. This little tyke (Cletus for now) will be all decked out in his bright orange sweatshirt underneath an appropriately staid British blazer and he'll be saying things like, "UT's going to flather some serious bum against Bama this week. Quite so!" Sorry, I'm not an expert on Brit slang, I had to make it up. Still, I'm thinking I'm not too far off base. Durr, UT trash talking of any sort is bad enough, I hate to imagine it coming from a precocious British lad. Still, I bet it'll be awfully cute! Regardless, congrats VA, ViL, and Cletus!

Of course it will be cute. Who doesn't love a bit of toddler Tennessee trash talk? Or perhaps a sweetly mangled chorus of Rocky Top. I'm not sure about the sweatshirt beneath the tweed though. But you're right - gentlemen's wear has an important place in proud English sporting tradition - i.e. football hooliganism. From wikipedia:

In the 1960s, when fighting at football was commonplace in the United Kingdom, British police would be on the lookout for fans wearing skinhead fashions or cheap work wear. Once this became apparent, hardcore hooligans started to wear the expensive clothing favoured by the well-to-do fans, to avoid police attention. This led to the development of the casual subculture. Since then, classic gentle-men's clothing lines — such as Burberry, Ben Sherman, Aquascutum and Paul and Shark — have been appropriated by hooligans as their uniform. Now the wearing of such clothing at domestic football matches is more likely to attract, than repel police attention. The height of casual culture was the mid 1980s, when hooligans following Liverpool F.C. through Europe would raid boutiques across the mainland continent to steal the latest fashions.

Yes, perhaps we can bring together the finest traditions of British and Tennessee sportsmanship. The orneriness, the drunkeness, the loudness, the unwaranted bragging, the sullenness at loss, the property damage... Really, I'll leave it to you to determine which feature to attribute to which proud culture.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to picture this baby ... half hillbilly/redneck/country and half stiff-upper-lip/stodgy Brit...

DOES NOT COMPUTE
DOES NOT COMPUTE

Ha, my brain can't come up with a proper image. I will think on this and do you a photo-manipulation of the image my brain finally comes up with. I don't think it will be pretty, heh.

Seriously, on the used clothes. You sound like me. If something is good, what's wrong with using it?

If I have good clothes/furniture/whatever, I always make sure that someone gets it. If I can't sell it, I just give it to someone who can use it.

My favorite pieces of furniture came from the Tennessee River Flea Market, and they are beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I looked at overalls today. The topstitching was in orange, and I thought how cute with a little orange tshirt. You can get them as small as 0-3 months. They weren't on sale, so I passed them by. Were your orange and white onesies on sale? Would that make a difference? Is the nothing but bargins apply to orange and white things? VolMom

Vol Abroad said...

Umm - have to admit that the stuff I bought today was not on sale. But it was orange and white. It has to be on sale OR orange.

genderist said...

Little Peyton is going to be so proud to wear his orange gear.

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