Redneck roots

What's on tv tonight? Well the Metro's Pick of the Day is Britney's Redneck Roots on Channel 4 (which is supposed to have a public service broadcasting charter).

Metro (a free paper distributed at Underground stations and the like) says: "Whether airbrushed and innocent or married and with child, Britney Spears has always been from Kentwood, Louisiana. But interest in her modest roots has changed with her carreer: as a pop darling she was evidence that hard work can bring success no matter what you background - but now older, spotty and swearing, she's white trash."

I doubt I'll be watching this (though you never know), but it did make me ponder. Should fame ever come my way, unlikely as that may be, which of my "Redneck Roots" would they manage to unearth. Never mind the relatives that live in trailers (too easy) or the ones with convictions, that's simply a matter of public record (although since my brother's record has been expunged he says "it" never happened - I won't go into "it", but "it" was kid stuff even if the State of Tennessee saw "it" differently).

I reckon they might interview some of my more colorful kinfolk (the cousin who's married to another cousin and who once kept an alligator in his fish tank) or perhaps acquaintances from high school. Might be worth getting a hold of another cousin's girlfriend - the one who came to both my grandfather's funeral and another cousin's wedding in the same skin tight deer-hunting camo mini-dress. That wouldn't have been so bad, but a) the events were only six days apart and b) while military style camo is appropriate for all times of year, deer-hunting style camo prints are more for Autumn fashions and these were both late spring gatherings.