Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Woman seeking woman for brother

When I was home over Christmas, VolMom oft lamented VolBro's single status. She said "I think what he needs is to find a good woman and settle down."

Today is VolBro's birthday, and though he is still a young 28, by Lawrence County standards that's long in the tooth. We hitch young, and many of his Law-Co-Hi classmates will be on their second or third marriage by now.

VolMom's birthday is in less than a week so in a birthday present to them both I have decided to advertise my brother on this blog in search of a "good woman". This is thoughtful on more than one account (well done me!), as the women in our family can be fierce and VolBro has always been a little concerned that we might have friction with a prospective bride. If I select and vet, we should avoid this problem.

Prospective candidates:

  • You should ideally be located in the Knoxville area, it's best if you're local to keep an eye on him.
  • We're looking for a smart gal, ideally IQ 130 or above - with an emphasis on wit.
  • He favors petite brunettes, but that's not a deal breaker.
  • You should be skilled and employed.
  • You don't have to like SEC football, but if you do, things will go better if you like the Vols. Don't expect to be able to hang your autographed Bear Bryant portrait in the marital home.
  • You should be a good Southern cook, but not better than me.
  • You should have eclectic musical tastes, including country, bluegrass and Southern rock.
  • VolBro will see it as a bonus if you own or have access to a bass boat.

What's on offer:

  • VolBro is kind of a diamond in the rough - a good woman could really shape that potential.
  • He's reasonably good looking and all his teeth are his own. (Important qualifier here)
  • He is funny. He has that classic Tennessee boy dry wit.
  • He is smart, intellectually curious and likes to travel.
  • He has an even temper and hardly ever raises his voice.
  • He's reasonably neat and is a good, but not flash, dresser.
  • He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of bourbons.
  • He is an excellent card player.
  • He makes the best damn BBQ ribs.
  • He is frugal with money (OK, he's cheap)
  • He's a fun guy to be around.
  • Although he's not terribly handy around the house, he has lots of friends who are.
  • You'd get me as a sister-in-law.

You can find my email address in the blogger profile, photos of VolBro can be supplied to serious applicants.

Update: There's a testimonial to his looks in the comments. He has dark brown hair and eyes, and isn't untall.

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Happy Birthday VolBro!



Tags: 26-35, 18-25, Love, Relationships, 46, Marriage, Dating,
Knoxville,
Tennessee,

4 comments:

genderist said...

What a good sister you're being!

I'd argue that he's more than "reasonably good looking" - he's great looking. And those chocolate brown eyes!

She'll be a lucky girl to catch him!

St. Caffeine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

VolBro was unaware of this blog when I spoke to him. He was on his way to work. He is not just ignoring you. Thanks for my part.
I think "reasonably good looking" is a bit of an understatement. Perhaps you're becoming too much of a Brit.
VolMom

Anonymous said...

This is adorable! I think it's really sweet what you're doing. I have NEVER answered an ad like this and accidentally came across it on google and thought it looked cute so I'd check it out. I'm Nicole, 24 (25 the end of this month). I highly doubt he's still single since I just checked the date haha but no harm in trying. I went to Culinary school and was born and raised in Maine but I've lived all over the world. Recently moved back from London! I will be attending school again this time for Nursing the end of the year and hope to go on to do some sort of medical missions work. I have a 147 IQ but that was tested a few years ago I'm sure I could do better now. I'm a tomboy, love sports. Please excuse me for squeazing in as much as I can haha. My family means the world to me.. if you'd like to know more just email =) SurferGyrlNikki@yahoo.com (I made up the email when I was 16) I can provide photos, assuming he is still available!

~Nicci