Across the pond

Well we left the house one minute before schedule. My suitcase is very full with googaws and Christmmas bric-a-brac.

The biggest volume item are Christmas crackers. These are a traditional Engliah item - a decorated paper tube stuffed with a cheap prize, a dumb joke, a paper crown and a small amount of explosive. The idea is that each person grabs an end in a circle round the Christmas table and then pulls. The explosive is triggered and you get a small bang. I have 32 in my suitcase, which may be enough to trigger the sensors.

I told the Vol-in-Law that I was worried about the crackers.

He said: Don't, I'm sure your relatives will be on their best behaviour.