soothing wallabies

So, when I feel all anxious about quitting smoking, I look at the picture of the wallaby on my desktop. It's soothing. But it makes me think too much about wallabies.


Soothing wallaby

I've been sharing wallaby facts with my colleagues.

1. Wallabies can make excellent pets, but they must be bottle fed from babies (joeys) to establish a really close bond.
2. Wallabies can be house trained - i.e. trained to poo outside, but you can never quite train them not to knock things over with their fat marsupial tail.
3. Wallabies like water. If you have a house wallaby, and you're in the bath, sometimes they'll jump in with you.
4. Wallabies, particularly male wallabies, like to box. It's cute when they're young, but not so cute when they get big. (Particularly for Bennett's wallabies that seem to be hardiest as kept pets).
5. Wallabies are nervous creatures - you must protect them from getting scared.

I don't think all my colleagues appreciate learning about wallabies. One said "You certainly have done your research. Did you happen to find any recipes for wallabies?"

I can see her strategy here. To freak me out. But it won't work. I lived too long in rural Tennessee. I've eaten Bambi.

"I bet wallabies would make good eating," I say. "They're herbivores, kind of like deer. Plus they breed pretty quick, and it only takes 1 male to service 10 females. You could eat the surplus wallabies."

But the truth is, I couldn't butcher my own pet wallaby. Even one that wasn't being a very good pet. Plus, you can sell a live male wallaby in the US for around $800, which would make eating him a pretty expensive bbq.