Thursday, October 04, 2007

Ratcheting up

Goodness the rhetoric is strengthening in advance of the UT-Georgia game. This expat blogger declares a feud. Well, he might be from the swamps of North Florida, but he's rightly reckoned that folks from the hills can be dangerous, especially when challenged.

And the challenge is getting mean - strong talk from a team with a junkyard mutt as a mascot.

There were strange folk up in the hills, you see - moonshiners, hillbillies, people who didn’t understand the principles of genetics. If you looked at them wrong they would start a feud with you and never rest until your entire family was hunted down. Well, turns out you can take the Vol out of the hills but never the hills out of the Vol.

First off, there's nothing wrong with a little entrepreneurial distillation action, all the folks on Rocky Top get their corn from a jar and it tastes better by far that way.

And as someone who's worked in politically correct England for a while, Chris should know better than to throw around racial epithets like "hillbilly". I'm proud to have been born on a mountain top in Tennessee (technically the ridge running through Fort Sanders affording a beautiful view of the Knoxville campus) - and I prefer the term Appalachian-American, thank you very much. Under the Race Hate Act, you can actually be thrown into jail (gaol) for stirring up cultural hatred - and then who's gonna be wearing the prison orange? But don't worry, I won't be making a complaint - I know it all arises out of pure jealousy from the swamp dweller - for we all know what rolls down hill.

And as for the fighting Volunteer spirit, well hell yeah - bring it on. I don't care if you have raised the stakes. Now that we're calling our stadium Fort Neyland your dawgs will find this a much less hospitable locale.

My boy, myself and my dog will all don orange if by some bizarre act of the devil the Vols and their fat little coach manage to slip past the mighty Dawgs. By accepting this bet, you are succumbing to the inevitable fate of adorning young Cletus, yourself and your little cat in glorious red and black.
Dress my cat? That's just crazy talk. And in red and black? You know how the English feel about animal cruelty. But if by some chance, the puppies squeal through - we'll see what we can do about the cat.

4 comments:

genderist said...

This is serious... the stakes are high.

We'll cheer extra loud for a Vol victory over those pansy pups.

"John Galt" said...

Just looked at today's betting line...Vols by 1...essentially a tossup.

Jeff Keith said...

Nice post. Hoping that the viles fall here. Either way, I hope it is a good game. Enjoy the game with your son. GO DAWGS!

Vol Abroad said...

Thanks - he's only 4 months old, so all we can do is dress him in a Vols onesie and hope he sleeps

Of course, with all the touchdowns we're scoring I keep threatening to wake him up.