Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I know I shouldn't, but...

...I just can't help it.

My dad sent me these today.

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Guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

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How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
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How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?

There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?

Documentaries.
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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Tennessee.

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
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An Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"

And the driver replies "Bout wut?"
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Did you hear about the $3 million TennesseeState Lottery?

The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
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The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down!

Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
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A new law was recently passed in Tennesee. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
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A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide.

The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania".
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man says,"I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar.."It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

________

I'll be here all week.

3 comments:

Anglofille said...

These jokes are hilarious. And many of them can be transferred to other states! :)

"John Galt" said...

So, you derive some sort of perverse pleasure mocking your heritage?

Vol Abroad said...

Why, yes I do.

Though I suspect that some nefarious Alabamian has simply taken the state information off the governor's web page and replaced every occurrence of Alabama with Tennessee.