So I thought maybe it was 'fess-up time for the Vol Abroad. Here goes -
I really am in Nashville, not in London at all. I'm just pretending to be an expat. I've only ever been to London, Kentucky.
OK, that's a lie.
I would like to confess however that:
- I'm a little behind on my current work project.
- I did cause the dishwasher frothing overload incident of 1988 by filling the soap tray with dishwashing liquid not dishwasher powder. I didn't know for sure that it would do that, but I had a pretty good idea.
- I have stolen at least one piece of office equipment from every job I've ever had, but nothing more major than a stapler or pencil sharpener, and nothing yet from my current job - it's a leaving thing I do.
- There just might be an outstanding parking ticket from the City of Knoxville for a car registered in my mom's name. (I'm sure there'll be an amnesty soon, VolMom).
- Every kid I ever babysat for got to stay up past their bedtime.
- I cheated in Driver's Ed
- I never paid for my prom ticket, so my high school wouldn't give me my diploma or send my transcripts on. But I knew where everything was kept in the office, including the signature stamp. I went in to school found my transcripts, stamped them with the official stamp and sent them on to UT where I got bachelors and a masters. I still have dreams that I've been caught and have to go back and do my final year of high school all over. (I don't know why I can't just dream they come after me for the prom ticket money).
- I probably sold your wedding gift to me in my grandfather's estate sale. (OK, not the one from St Caffeine - it's a pewter tray and I still have it.)
You know, I don't really feel any better.
2 comments:
You know, Vol, I'm really starting to not like you very much. I'm at the end of the day and I'm thinking of "phoning in" a cheap post. First, though, I cruise my usual reading list and I see that you've managed to crack me up yet again. You're bad for an aspiring blogger's self esteem.
A couple of comments:
1. Is the prom ticket story REALLY true? Sure, I can see the old HS powers that be trying to pull it off, but did they actually refuse to release your transcripts and such? I guess I shouldn't be surprised in that one of our guidance counselors misspelled my name on a rec letter for me.
2. I'm touched that you still have my wedding gift to you. I swear that (prior to reading your post) I couldn't have told you what I got you, but I remember now (was there some sort of acorn motif involved?). Of course you could be lying about still having it, but I figure you're telling the truth since you remember what the gift was.
Yes it's definitely oak leafy. I use it to store my rechargeable batteries and other such and sundry.
I don't know if they would have definitely refused me my transcripts, but I definitely went in there and got them myself.
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